“To love thee Jesus, I have but today.”

Laurel, I survived my first ever silent retreat!  

How good is our God?  I feel rested in His peace.  It was such a beautiful experience.  Jesus desired me to come closer and stay longer than I usually do.  I am so grateful He gave me the strength and courage to say YES to a retreat at Pacem.  There was nothing in particular about my time on retreat which took me by surprise or made for a crazy experience.  But it was so intentional and filled with love.  My soul is renewed.  I am made new because I asked Him to make me new.  He gave me a new heart and we just spend time together.

It took me a while to calm my soul and quiet my thoughts.  I slept quite a bit the first afternoon.  I didn’t really want to walk outside for fear of freezing to the sidewalk. (Side note: the worst part about the retreat was the outdoor bathroom.  I am not beneath going in an outhouse, but it is a whole different experience when your butt cheeks freeze to the seat. L)

The hermitage I stayed at was named after St. Paul and it was so cozy.  I turned the heat up to 80 degrees and cuddled in a rocking chair with blankets and slippers.  Pacem had an exercise room which I took advantage of.  It was a nice indoor alternative to the three miles of outdoor walking trails.  (The temperature got down to 15 below so I nixed that option!)…This also gave me an opportunity to keep up with my PT exercises. 

St. Paul hermitage (from Pacem in Terris website)

The library was beautiful and I checked out a book of poems written by St. Therese.  In particular I prayed with “My Song of To-day”.  I have included it below, although I had a different translation (Alan Bancroft) which I liked better.  I can’t find it online but here is a picture of the book cover:

For the most part I tried to just sit and be.  I meditated on a number of scripture readings including The Woman with the Hemorrhage (Mark 5:21-34), Fasting (not fasting around the bridegroom; Mark 2:18-22), and Dependence on God (Luke 12:22-34).  I got to speak with Kaitlyn Gathje on the phone today for a while.  We talked about her first trip to Pacem.  She is such a wise woman and it was so wonderful to catch up!  (Ironically she was supposed to go to Pacem this weekend as well but rescheduled last minute!  Also ironically she is going to be walking the Camino in September!)

Know of the continued prayers I said for you on my retreat, mi pequeño pavo!  I added your name to a basket of intentions at Our Lady of Pacem chapel which over 700 prayer partners commit to praying for every day.

Peace be with you!  Ponder LOVE and His Mercy today!!!!!!!

P.S. I brought your pillow with me on the retreat...it is just so darned comfortable!

My Song of To-day!

Oh! how I love Thee, Jesus! my soul aspires to Thee — And yet for one day only my simple prayer I pray! Come reign within my heart, smile tenderly on me, To-day, dear Lord, to-day.

But if I dare take thought of what the morrow brings — That fills my fickle heart with dreary, dull dismay; I crave, indeed, my God, trials and sufferings, But only for to-day!

O sweetest Star of heaven! O Virgin, spotless, blest, Shining with Jesus’ light, guiding to Him my way! O Mother! ‘neath thy veil let my tired spirit rest, For this brief passing day!

Soon shall I fly afar among the holy choirs, Then shall be mine the joy that never knows decay; And then my lips shall sing, to heaven’s angelic lyres, The eternal, glad To-day!